As you all will note, I'm up rather late. Reason being that after we left swing dancing tonight, we all went to Steak 'n Shake (or however that is spelled). I like everyting about the place, other than the incredibly slow service. I'm told it is like that at every store, but I don't know. That was my first time.
Dancing was so much fun. There where about 20 people there from Trevecca. We are definitly on our way to being able to start a club here. I look forward to it.
In Other News
I look forward to this opportunity to work at a great company this summer. But it is so far away from home and Nashville. The highest concentrations of people I know halfway decently are in those two places right now. And I could have worked it out to stay in Nashville, I think. I would love to stay here, dance in the park at their summer events, keep up my swing lessions, be around a lot of the people I know (including family), find some good camping/hiking parks, and work down in CIT.
I guess I'm just tired of change. I want things to all fall into place and not have to worry about big decisions. I'm exhausted and really want a break from it all. When I'm not in school, I'm working. When I'm not working or in school, I manage to get sick. Life's kicking me while i'm down still trying to figure out life without a dad here on Earth. Everything is different now. Holidays, remembering him being born and passing away in March, wishing I had him around to talk about his experiences at Trevecca and compare stories - all these things make me wonder what life would have been like had things been different. But they weren't different. They were exactly the way they where. And the hardest thing for me to figure out is what now. I wish I knew how it all panned out in the end, but I don't. People say the point of life is that it is a surprise. I don't like surprises so much. I like to know that something is going to happen at a specific time and in a particular way. That is one reason I like programming. When I write a web application to do something a specific way at a particular time, once I work all the bugs out, it does it. I wish my life worked that way some times. I like a good surprise now and then, but I don't like living life wondeing what the next minute will be like. I have my plans and all the most important points to me are falling apart. Where will I live? What will I do? Who will I know? What do I do tomorrow? I just don't know.
God, give me peace and patience to wait on your timing and clarity when the right opportunities down the road come. And above all, don't let me screw up my one shot at life too badly. Amen.
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